Last week Yong and I went out to dinner with a friend after work. We spoke on likes & loves and Yong made a comment about how I’m constantly obsessed with one thing or another and then drop it the next week. No, he wasn’t trying to be mean (at least I hope not) I think he said it more out of sense of frustration. Imagine gift shopping for someone who loves everything and then doesn’t? Not fun.
That’s not necessarily true though. I believe I am one of those people that can easily find beauty in almost anything. I didn’t always see it that way, I’ve always felt I had a particular style. But when Yong & I decided to move in together I quickly found out how flexible I could be with the things/colors/styles I wanted to bring into our new home.
The entire blog was born from that situation. Wanting to document the process and keep track of what we wanted and how we were going to work everything out. Then he said something that got me all giddy inside… “Do whatever you want, baby. I trust you.” Turns out he didn’t really mean that, not that he was lying to me. He just didn’t know he didn’t mean it. As I flooded him with pictures and ideas of what I wanted to transform the space into he was, well… pretty overwhelmed. We work on a veto process regarding any decisions that affect both of us and boy did he exercise that right. The main problem was he couldn’t visualize it the way I could. After all, they were my visions and there’s no “share” button on those.
Another problem was that it all seemed a little exhausting for him. He didn’t really get as excited about painting an entire house as I did. I’m a special breed. I can usually see the light at the end of the tunnel. Another thing I’ve discovered is that people see these things as permanent. “You’re going to have to live with this” constantly looming over their heads. This type of thinking is something I’ll never understand. If you don’t like something… change it. Simple. Sure you may want to think twice about dropping $800-3000 on a sofa you’re not really sure about but paint colors? Paint is probably one of the easiest things to change and the most inexpensive with the biggest impact in a room. Trying something out and finding out it’s actually not for you is a good thing. Now you’re closer to finding out what is.
Now, Yong & I speak or are in some type of constant communication for about 16 of the 24 hours in a day. We have been ever since we met (on MySpace, eek!) almost 8 years ago. Its not a hard set rule, not a trust thing, just something we like. We carpool to and from work and have awesome conversations (unless someone, usually I, falls asleep). Sometimes we don’t IM for hours but the window is always there ready to send out a quick “Whatcha doing?” I know, I know.. its sickening but it works for us. We’ve been dating for almost 6 of the almost 8 years now. Even before we were official, we’ve always sent each other links to items or things we were eyeing at the moment. Yesterday’s Covet post would have normally been a bunch of links I would have sent him. I guess I never realized that to him these were things on my “to-buy” list vs. what they really were… things on my “awesome, possible DIY, get inspiration from” list. Phrases like “ugh, get in my life!” after a URL exchange probably don’t help either.
One example in particular, a pair of Jean-Michel Cazabat Emma pumps in black suede. I was on the hunt for a simple pair of black pumps. Preferably with a straight stiletto and lots of toe-cleavage. These babies fit the bill and were the most inexpensive of the lot. I searched high and low but never found them available anywhere. I later found out they ran small and their largest size probably wouldn’t even fit. After mentioning it to Yong a couple (million) times he was determined to find them for me (or a comparable alternative), bless his heart. He even made some calls and found me some options. About a week later he asked “So are you going to try them out and see if they work?” To which I replied “Nope, that’s too much work.” Am I a bitch? Totally. Am I totally just realizing this? Totally. The time he spent searching for me just to be able to find something he thought you make me really happy seemed to have gone unnoticed. It was not baby, and this is my public apology to you. I sincerely apologize for wasting your time and/or making you believe I would do anything to have those heels. Because the truth is I would not and wasting your time is at the very tip-top of my “things I won’t do for these shoes” list. Yenno, along with murder and stealing. There’s very few things I’m willing to truly spend my time on; my family, you, health (I’m working on it), perfecting my craft and crafting my future. A pair of shoes, while beautiful, is neither here nor there. ♥
The moral of this story? See beauty in all things and slap some perspective on those suckers immediately.